Dimaag ka Dahi - Life Pre-written??

Several years back, my uncle passed a statement very casually during one of our family parties. He said "There are no coincidences in life. Everything is already written somewhere". My dad and uncles discussed on that topic for a while and then moved on to other things. But that statement stuck with me. I started thinking and re-thinking about it. I discussed it with friends/family on different occassions just to get their point of view. I would ask them "Do you believe that our life has already been written by God?" Most of the people completely rejected the theory, "No way!" they said. One of my American roommates asked, "So are you trying to say that this conversation that I'm having with you right now is also written?" I said "Maybe, I'm not sure." She said, "If we think like that then life would be so boring". Well, in a way it would be but then we don't really know whats written, do we? So how could it be boring?
Today, I had a long discussion with my hubby over this. He too like most people rejected it. At first he asked me, "It was my decision to do post-grad. What if I had decided not to do it?". That made me wonder if God had written our life in the form of 'If and Then' statements. So if B does this, then his life would be like this, else if he does that, then his life would be like that...??
I think in astrology its said that the left hand is the one you are born with and the right hand is the one you make and its the reverse for guys. So the lines on the right hand change according to the decision you make in life? So is there a pre-decided path that God would like us to take but then we have the power to change things i.e. follow the 'else if' statements??
Hubby asked, "To which extent do you think its all pre-written? Are our thoughts and conversations also pre-written? Are all the inventions also already pre-decided? Did God write the story of Star Wars ??" No Idea!
Well, but there are some good astrologers who can predict our futures. What about them? How can they predict my future if it hasn't been decided already?
But then it struck me that the predicted futures only give an outline of how our life might be. Like the important milestones in our life. Panditji (astrologer) might say "You will get married at this age, have a son at this age, another one at this age. You will go abroad..etc etc." So its possible that only the outline of our life is written and not each and every detail. But then God has written each and every detail about each and every organ of our body, how it functions, the beating heart and so on. So to what extent have things been pre-written? Only God knows! (literally).
So finally, hubby and I concluded that before I do any more 'dimaag ka dahi' ( its a purely Bambaiyya term), we should Stop. SO here I am trying to make a dimaag ka dahi of the readers :)

p.s. Do tell me what your views are on this topic.

If you are in the mood to LAUGH...

...watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXXm696UbKY

The lil boy keeps bumping his head and yet continues to laugh. Its hilarious!

Traffic (Cop) RULES !!

Being a Bombayite originally, I was not at all surprised when my bro, who just moved to Pune from US, told me about him bribing the traffic cop. My bro was on his way from Pune to Bombay and was stopped by a traffic policeman for no reason at all (which again is not surprising). He was demanded Rs. 100 as fine, which he paid. Then the cop told him that his license will be withheld and he needs to collect it from the local RTO after 4 days. My bro was confused about this "new" rule. So he asked the cop about what the rules were... yes, please don't laugh :). The reason he asked this was, because, in our days which is about 10-15 years back, these traffic cops were pretty shameless. They would directly ask us "Rs. 50 lagega chai-paani ke liye" (Will require Rs. 50 for snacks, in short as bribe). Anyways, in a while the cop hinted my bro about giving him Rs. 50. After my bro handed it to him, the cop laughed and said "Pehle dene ka na, kitna time waste kiye" (You should have given it earlier, you have wasted my time).
The exact same thing happened on his way back from Bombay to Pune, except for this time my bro didn't bother asking him about the rules. The cops know that nobody would want their license to be withheld for 4 days. And for exactly what reason is it being withheld? My bro was on his way to Bombay, how can he drive without his license? Is this 'withholding license' thingy really a rule? How do we know?
I have bribed the traffic cops n number of times during my college days. Not very proud about it. I started riding my (ahem..my bro's) kinetic honda since I was 15 years old. Meaning, I didn't have a license and still rode it all over town. I had enough money to bribe these cops, the going rate was Rs. 20 at that time. Again, not very proud about this. But in my defense, I rode it better than most rickshaw-wallahs do. As a teenager I was tempted. And in a country where anything can be achieved with a little bribe, I went for it.
What I am trying to say in this post is not something that isn't on everybody's mind already. But which I want to type in anyways:
We definitely need rules to be enforced by these traffic cops AND more importantly, we need transperency to these rules.

Religion

My parents have lived in the same building till now since the time I was born. We had some very good neighbors. The closest we were to was a Christian family (lets call them C). They had kids pretty late, so Mrs. C pampered me a lot like her own. Then she had a little boy and I adored the boy. She also had a little girl a few years later - Miss.C. I loved both the kids a lot! Our families were pretty close. We shared sweets for Christmas and Diwali, were invited over for parties. I have even travelled with Mrs. C to nearby towns when she went to visit her mom.
When her little girl was born, I was very excited. I even suggested a nice name for her. They named her something very similar to what I had suggested, so I was happy. I was just 8 at the time. I attended lil Miss. C's christening ceremony at the St. Xavier's church. I knew they were Christians and that I am a Hindu. But my parents never spoke anything about our religious differences.
I was very attached to Little Miss. C. I brought her everyday after school to my place. I played with her for hours. Whenever I heard her cry, I would rush to their place and bring her back to mine. When she was about 3 years old, I took her out almost every evening. We went to the market, to my friend's place, to the garden. Then one day, I took her to the nearby temple.
As usual the following day, I went to her place to pick her up. As we were leaving, Little Miss. C said to me " I cannot go to the temple with you". I was confused, "Why?" I asked. What she said next hurt me to the core. Something that I cannot forget all my life. Something that I wasn't prepared for. Something that I wasn't taught.

"My mommy says, THAT is not MY God, THAT is YOUR God".

Parent-child relationships

What is your duty to your parents? In India, the eldest male child is always held responsible for taking care of his parents in their old-age. We know that it has changed now, at least the way the current generation thinks has changed. Why can't the daughter also be equally responsible? But our parents are from the previous generation. No matter how much they coax us to go and lead wonderful lives without them, in their heart they always want to be around their kids. I remember being offended by my dad's comment a long time ago (I was still in college then and my elder bro was in the US) when he had said "I have my son who would look after me". What about me Dad? Your daughter?? I'd thought and felt hurt. It was a long time ago and my Dad is always forgiven. My mom fell sick a couple of years back. I was working in the US then. Our parents have brought us up with a lot of love and care, and I'm sure they have sacrificed a lot to give us the best. I went to my Boss to tell him that I want to quit my job. My boss (an Indian guy) asked me " Aren't there any relatives in India who can take care of your mom?" I was stunned. Had he just asked me THAT?? I stared at him for a moment and then said "There are RELATIVES, but she is MY mom and I want to be there for her". So he smiled and said "Oh, my mom too is sick for the past several years. But I have my kids studying here, so I can't go. We have relatives out there to take care of her". whatever! I don't really care about what kind of a relationship my boss shares with his parents. But I started wondering. Once we get married, its said that a person has added responsibilities, but I did not know that they are supposed to 'Change'. Does your priority become your kids/wife/husband? Is it okay to let your parents be on their own especially if they are sick?
Sometimes even if we want to be with them, its not always possible. Well, anything is POSSIBLE if we really want to do it, but we need to make sacrifices and compromises. Are we ready to do that? We might do that for our kids then why not for our parents? Aren't they the ones who took care of us till we were independent and stable in life? Aren't we what we are today because of them? Then why do they take a back-seat? Have our responsibilities shifted?
After my mom recovered, she said to me one day, "I did not know that my kids love me so much". Really? You doubted the extent of our love for you? How could you?!! I said "Frankly Ma, you both have given us so much love that we could not reciprocate with any less".
But I know in my heart that I could have done more. But I couldn't. Nothing is impossible but sometimes we make it. For reasons that we know in our heart but refuse to admit.
I have a little daughter now. And I have already started preparing my mind to take a back-seat once she flies out of this nest.

The teacher who hated me

So this is from my school days. I was an extremely naughty kid in school, thats how my teachers still remember me. But I wasn't impolite or rude, I just talked a LOT and ran away to the playground even while the lectures were ON (Yup, I did this in school too). I ofcourse had an accomplice, my best friend. She is still one of my closest friends. Anyways, I also wasn't a pet of any of the teachers because of the same reason. But ofcourse they didn't hate me. On Open Days, my mom got to hear remarks like "Oh, if she talked less then she would score more". I was a little above average student and my interest was only in sports and arts.
Anyways, so there was this Sir- hailed from Bihar/UP side. He was a sports teacher and he taught Hindi as well. For some unknown reason, I always hatred in his eyes for me. He constantly chewed on paan (betel leaf), smoked cigarettes (which he asked the students to go outside the school premises and buy for him) and frankly, I don't think his Hindi was all that good. I played Hockey and was into athletic games like 100/200m running races, long-jump/high jump, relays, shot-put(I was unbeatable in shot-put), throw ball etc. But he always said discouraging words to me. Would always pick on me. Once, during a hindi class, he came over to my desk and asked me to write down my name in Hindi. I did. Then he hit me on the head and said "Khudd ka naam bhi likhna nahi jaanti??" (you don't even know to spell your own name) and just walked away. This was in 8th grade. I called after him "Phir kaise likhte hain Sir?" (Then how do I spell it, Sir?"). Instead of replying to me, he said in an even louder voice, so that the students who had missed the first part, wouldn't miss this "8th Standard main ho, lekin itna hindi bhi nahi aata" (you are in 8th grade but don't know even this level of Hindi). I just kept quiet after that. I was insulted by my professor for absolutely no reason. I asked around in the class if I had spelt my name wrong, but I hadn't. Why had he suddenly asked me to spell my name? Why did he want to insult me in class like this?? I was just 13 years old and he was almost 35 or 40. Why? Why?? Why??? I never understood his hatred.
A couple of years back, a friend from my school informed me that that Sir had passed away. He had lung cancer. I felt NOTHING !

Why this Blog?

I just can't stop thinking about all these random things ALL the TIME !!! I have a busy married life with a 3 month old baby, and I am supposed to have only baby thoughts. But, thats just not possible. Even if I rest on a chair for about 5 mins, these completely random thoughts come to my mind. My mind feels so restless. I just want to relax. I want to stay calm and focussed. So I decided to write down these thoughts so that I can put it behind me. I can't write as fast as I can type. And I really don't have a whole lot of time to sit and start another diary. I already have a baby diary and a blog that I am maintaining. And the things I want to write here don't need to go in a diary. So why not another blog. I don't have to write everyday or even every week, only when I feel like it. In the past 7 years I've become this non-social person, or rather people think that I have, because I'd rather email than use the phone. I hate doing small talk. I call up someone only when if I want to inform them of something or if I need some help from them and if that can be done over the email or Orkut then I prefer doing that. Don't mistake me, I love having friends, LOADS of friends and I LOVE to keep in touch with them online. The best way of communication is if we meet in person, but if we can't then you know what I think the next best thing is. Where am I going with this? No Idea (basically because the memory cells in my brain have died during my pregnancy, I start a sentence and forget how I was planning to end it). But thats exactly my point. I want to write about complete random things that don't need to make a point. I stop here.